Despair is sin

For quite a long time now (as you may well know if you ever have read my blog) I have been in a pretty awful state of self-pity and despair spiritually. I actually feel really stupid writing that now. Tonight in the sermon it (finally?) hit me properly that despair is sin.

We had a sermon on 2 Samuel 12 this evening. If you remember, it is the passage where the prophet Nathan comes to King David to challenge him about his sin. The famous quote is in verse 7 where Nathan says to David "You are the man! This is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says..."

All this time I have been thinking "oh woe is me, I'm struggling, I'm rubbish, I'm not getting anywhere and I used to be pressing on..." and really what I needed was a slap in the face like this telling me "You are the man!" (not as in "How great are you!" but as in "You are the sinner!" - check the context of the quote!!).

We also had a great quote from William Williams, Pantecelyn which consists of four lessons:
(1.) To repent without despairing; (2.) To believe without being presumptuous; (3.) To rejoice without falling into levity (4.) To be angry without sinning. (although I just read a webpage claiming that to be a Daniel Rowland quote)

The first lesson really stood out for me. I realised that it is repentance that I need, not self-pity and despair. I guess self-pity and despair are so attractive to us because they revolve around us and we naturally love ourselves. Repentance is such a wonderful thing because it means turning back to God - and what could be more positive than that?

Finally, the rest of verse 13 says:
Nathan replied, "The LORD has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. 14 But because by doing this you have made the enemies of the LORD show utter contempt, the son born to you will die."

So even though any one sin is punishable by death, David is forgiven, his sin is taken away! (something we must rejoice in) However, there are consequences to his actions (and this is something we musn't forget).

If you have been praying for me - thank you, please continue to do so! Let's pray that when the sad occasion comes when we need a Nathan to come, God will bring him/her to us and we will be convicted, we will confess our sins and we will be restored.

Press on!